Bad Mood Tuesday

I'm having one of those days.

I had day two of my First Aid Course today, which required me to wake up at 6:30 to be there for 8:30. So I was tired and groggy most of the day today.

Good news is that I passed First Aid. With a 94%!

Arrived home to do laundry and have some supper. Was feeling kind of lonely, so I chatted with my friend N. in Montreal via Facebook chat for a while, then called J. and K. and talked to them for about an hour.

I miss my friends. I miss having things to do. At this moment in time, I don't have a job, a volunteer gig, or classes to worry about. Quite frankly, I spend a lot of time alone, hence why I feel lonely. Also, even though I know like 5 people in Ottawa, I'm a considerate person and I don't like to harass them on a daily basis with my problems. Especially when they have their own lives to lead.

Following this, my father called. Now, since my father does not know I am writing this blog, I will now proceed to rant:



My mother died when I was 19 (or 6 years ago). Of my two parents, my mother was the more mellow one of the two. I used to call home every two to three days when I lived in Quebec City and we would chat. We would then go on our merry little way.

I hardly every spoke to my father. He was never around. See, he's a truck driver and decided to leave all the parenting to my mother. Which is exactly what she did.

Now, one of the key roles of parenting is giving the support for your children to become individual and healthy members of society. My mother knew this. She gave me roots, but she also gave me wings.

My father, on the other hand, does not understand this concept at all.

Over the last couple of years, every couple of months, my father and I have the same argument and that argument is about my safety. In his opinion, I should give him my friend's personal phone numbers so that if, in case, something happens to me, he will be able to reach them. I, however, disagree, because my friends do not know the crazy person who is my father and I believe it would be an invasion of privacy to give him their numbers.

So we had that argument again tonight. And I got royally pissed off for a couple of reasons. The main one is that he doesn't treat me like an adult. I am 25 years old. I already have a Master degree and I've been living on my own for 8 years now. This is also the 3rd major city I have ever lived in, so I do know about city life and personal safety.

I AM NOT A CHILD. I do not need to be checked up on every day. I do not need him to call my friends when I do not answer my cellphone because I'm at work, or at school, or at a movie, ect. 95% of the time, I can take care of myself. And if or when I would need him, I would have my friends call him, not have him call them.

It's times like this that I miss my mom. I miss her a lot for a lot of different reasons. Most because she understood that I should be treated as an equal and not some child that doesn't know any better.

And for F*** sakes, I live in Ottawa. It's like one of the safest cities in Canada. Why should people be concerned? Hell, I'm not. Not anymore so than when I lived in Montreal.

So Dad, for the 50Th billionth time, you are not getting my friends' phone numbers. It's called let me be a mature adult and let me take care of me.